Last updated on April 4th, 2024 at 03:36 pm
How to be the King (or Queen) of Facebook Status Updates
Facebook has become the most popular social networking site and platform for keeping up with friends and family the world has ever seen. If you are like the average person you check your Facebook feed ___ times a day and update your status about ___ times. The whole notion of being able to follow your friends and keep up with what they’re doing in real time is an incredible concept that Facebook’s status updating feature brings to life, and it is one of the reasons Facebook has become the colossus it is.
Status updates are used by many people for many different things, and one of the most common and popular uses has become as a platform for jokes. We’ve all seen it many times; those certain friends who post that certain one-liner at just the right time, or comment a hilarious wisecrack that makes everyone laugh or at least smile. It’s not hard to become one of these people, because it only takes a few skills such as observation, quick thinking, and of course the indispensable ability to Google when needed.
Some of the best and most hilarious Facebook status updates are just recycled versions of other funny things. Actually, almost all of them are. There’s nothing wrong with that, because almost everything everywhere is just a remix of something (or somethings) else. For instance, movies and TV shows are some of the best sources of great status updates and jokes. Why shouldn’t they be? They’re full of great one-liners and punchlines, and that’s part of the reason why they’re so popular. Dig up a gem from How I Met Your Mother or Family Guy, and you’ll definitely have a good deal of your friends laughing. (Famous people are also a good source of funny quotes. Notables such as Mark Twain, Oscar Wilde, and W.C. Fields have penned some classics that are just as good as any modern joke)
A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way. Mark Twain
Plays on words have also become rather popular as a status update to make others laugh. Although in real life most people wouldn’t let you get away with a clever pun, on Facebook most people will at least smile and maybe even join in on the fun.
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.
Pick up lines are always a win, whether or not you actually have someone in mind when you’re saying them. Well, that’s not quite true. People will either be laughing with you, or at you, or simply covering their faces in shame. But lines like “Do you have any raisins? No? How about a date?” will always get a reaction, even if it’s just a groan. They will certainly make at least a few of your friends smile though.
Holidays are also great times to spread the laughter through your news feed. Fake new year’s resolutions and hilarious Christmas wishes will almost always bring cheer to your Facebook friends.
My New Years Resolution: I will avoid taking a bath whenever possible and conserve more water.
Add some special symbols to your posts to illustrate and enhance what you’re saying. For instance: … is cle’a[ni.ng hi’ske]yb36oa;rd is a simple example of this. More complicated symbols that have to be copied from other places enable these funny updates:
scratch here ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ to reveal today’s status.
–^v–^v–^v–^v-_____^v–^v–^v– For a second there, I was bored to death.
One thing to try when you want to make people laugh is updating your status in character as someone else. For instance, change your picture and name to Lord Voldemort and update your status to …must be the one to kill Harry Potter! And I shall be. There are endless possibilities with character status updates, and best of all, maybe your more awesome friends will jump in and comment with related characters.
If you have lots of friends, then you might not even need any of these ideas, and can simply use your own inside jokes. Inside jokes are often the funniest kind, at least for those who are “on the inside”. It might get annoying for those who are not, and so you might either have to do a lot of explaining or else risk bothering the rest of your friends.
And keep your eyes open for an opportunity to prank any of your friends who happen to leave their accounts logged in. “Frape” or Facebook rape (not as bad as it sounds) is when you change your friend’s interests, profile pics, and status and leave embarrassing comments and posts in their name. This will usually be a hilarious joke on them and most people will laugh it off, although certainly be careful for those who are bad at taking jokes. Fraping can go very wrong and cause problems for people if you aren’t sensitive.
Don’t forget that pictures and videos that made you laugh can be shared and linked to through your status updates. Sometimes nothing you can say will ever be as funny or appropriate as that certain video or picture.
And most of all, remember that Google is a huge source of all sorts of hilarious jokes, comments, and status updates that you shouldn’t be ashamed or afraid to use. Most of the funny things you read on Facebook that your friends posted were just found on Google anyway. Look up “funny facebook statuses” in a search engine and you’ll find literally hundreds of great, tried and proven lines.
Just be careful in your updates to not put anything that would offend those who will be reading it. If you have your grandma as your Facebook friend, perhaps that joke about getting smashed last night wouldn’t be for her. Luckily Facebook has the option of hiding comments from certain friends, so be sure to use if when necessary. Don’t be overly mean with your comment either; even the most easy going of your friends can be hurt by an unkind or embarrassing personal joke. Have fun, but not at the expense of others.
